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My Heroin Girl

Sunday, January 25, 2004

12:03PM - to the boy with the short attention span

stranger things than happenstanceCollapse )

Current mood: Optimistic

(compromise yourself)

Saturday, November 29, 2003

12:34AM - Those trees need to keep their business out of the roads

No matter who decides to make fun of me for being excited, it doesn't matter, because I am, and today was fabulous times a thousand
The weather tonight was amazing
I need to learn how to layer
Thanksgiving was great too, my best ever
goodnight moon
upon taking off my pants I have discovered that stitched on the inside of the waistline is the phrase "you are beautiful" this made me smile

Current mood: accomplished

(6 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

Monday, November 24, 2003

8:12PM

I don't handle rejection, or disagreement, or whatever, very well
so that, combined with getting tomato soup spilled on me today(I'm not mad at you Bryan, it just wasn't the best thing to happen to me all day) totally warranted a huge shopping spree for me tonight after work. New bras, belts, scarves, sweaters, shirts and jeans, I suck.
Hannah called me this morning to tell me they are building a starbucks on Clark and Honore, this is a great thing and made me smile
side note to hannah: I know I told you I would hang out tomorrow but I totally forgot I had plans with Ali-Jae, sorry sorry sorry
later days

Current mood: blah

(2 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

Sunday, November 23, 2003

7:25PM - found my 7th grade yearbook

Ok, the 2 people who wrote these I am now good friends with, and you guys read this, so figure it out
"Ciarra-
Hi I never know what to say just have a good summer & even tho you were mean to me at the begining of the year, I wuz 2 you at the party.
-<3-
******"

"Ciarra-
Hey babe! I'm glad that we got 2 be better friends this year! Call me this summer, k? k. the number is ###-####! or you could e-mail me @ : lox13@alloymail.com Don't 4get now!
-<3-
XXX-XXX"

Other signees include rebecca schroeder and Eva and Andrew Perry, and atleast one out of every 3 people made some reference to Zak Tangeloff, I guess I had a big crush on him.
Reading old yearbooks makes me smile, but also makes me pretty sad that I don't talk to any of the people who "loved me so much" or swore we'd still be best friends once they left Pine View. I used to be good friends with a lot of people I haven't spoken to in nearly 4 years, or see and dislike every day of my life. Peculiar
These are the things I do when I have a paper due tomorrow.
edit-they just spoofed trainspotting on the simpsons, it was so great.

Current mood: Nostalgic

(7 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

Thursday, November 20, 2003

4:56PM

I had a really really fantastic day today
I fell asleep in government and didn't notice that Dr. George was observing, she came over and woke me up, I felt silly.
After school Mike and I ventured to Ringling
He's smart and junk so he told me about a lot of the paintings, I'm glad I went with him.
We also went to the Margaret Bourke-White exhibitCollapse )
wow, I don't know what to say other than wow
I wish i could be half as talented as her
seeing her work makes me want to experiment with black and white film and soft lighting and reflections and shadows and a million other things
hopefully I'm gonna go to the gym tonight
later days

Current mood: accomplished

(compromise yourself)

Friday, November 7, 2003

11:42PM

So my feeling of bliss has kind of been burst a bit upon the dicovery of my livejournal and several of my friends live journals on the history on my moms computer. It was under todays history and I haven't used her computer in a few weeks, and I always clear the history anyhow. So yeah, just thought I'd let you guys know, and she's been reading all my comments too which is really awesome. Now I have hard evidence that LJ is how she found out about all that stuff I have gotten in trouble for in the past, even if I didn't write about it, shes been reading everyones! I never thought she would stoop so low, she wonders why I don't respect her and love her as much as my other girl friends love their mothers. This is so low, I cannot express deeply enough how hurt I am right now. I'm not using my journal anymore and I'm locking all my old entries and changing my password, only keeping it so I can read everyones friends only entries. It's sad,I need to go buy a new real journal anyhow, I have misplaced my old one.
PS-mom, you are lame, I hope you know that I will NEVER trust you again, in the past I suspected this but in the back of my head I thought you would never violate my privacy like this. And it was pretty much a waste because there isn't anything all that interesting in here anyhow, but I guess now you can enjoy readin all my friends journals, getting some sort of lame satisfaction out of finding out about their personal lives. I hope this hurts you atleast half as much as it has hurt me, if you were a half decent person you would talk to me about it, but you won't, so I can just sit here and stew in my anger and disapointment at the false trust I gave you.

Current mood: hurt

(4 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

10:57PM

Tonight was all about being nothing but great
my heart feels like it is swelling because I'm so ecstatic about life, and some of my friends
haha, I'm so lame
I'm so proud of Hannah and excited for her
tomorrow night should be pretty fabulous too
<3hannah mike jason collin<3
so tired
goodnight moon

Current mood: hopeful

(compromise yourself)

Wednesday, November 5, 2003

6:08PM

Whatever, you're dumb
Every aspect of my life has been awkward and weird
even the weekend doesn't seem like a releif anymore

Current mood: angst

(compromise yourself)

Tuesday, November 4, 2003

9:30PM - I need a new user pic

Man, life is monotonous
school, work, gym, tralalala, cant wait for the 4 day weekend
do this please

What is your first memory of me:
What was your first impression of me?:
How long have we been friends:
Tell about one memory we share together:
If we could spend a day together, what would we do:
Name one thing you really don't like about me:
Name one thing you really do like about me:
Have we ever gotten in a fight and about what:
Have we ever hugged:
Have we ever danced with each other:
Have you ever heard me sing:
Have you ever seen me drunk:
Do we have any inside jokes:
Have I ever offended you:
What is something embarrassing that I've done:
What do I usually look like when you see me:
What do I say all the time \ what's my catch phrase:
Do you think we will be friends in 5 years:
Has there been anything you wanted to tell me, but didn't:
What advice would you give me, in general:
Wanna make out?:
Suggest a band or CD for me to listen to:
Is there a song that reminds you of me:

Current mood: sweaty

(8 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

Monday, November 3, 2003

6:37PM

so I'm at work talkin to my boss about the edys vacation everyone is going on, I never stop to think who will run the store. She tells me we are leaving in 15 minutes, but I havent packed yet so I find myself at the grocery store with jamie, buying apples. Apples purchased, somehow I end up packed and ready to go, but everyone else already left. So I hop in Sam's car and we head to the edys vacation house. On the way we decide we want to stop and play video games, so we go to some arcade in the middle of nowhere. We find this star trek game which is really a small rocket ship that seats 2 people to play the game. We can't figure out how to work it so we just decide to talk. Some kid comes and yells at us, so we shut the door. But then everyone in the place attacks the rocket ship cuz we were hogging their favorite game. I made fun of them and we ran the Sam's car, bearely escaping the rabid star trek arcade lovers.
I'm not really sure what happened to the edys vacation, I guess that never got around to happening.

Now I'm gonna go to the gym with hannah.
later days

(7 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

Sunday, November 2, 2003

6:48PM

Hannah and I were at the gym until close last night and got there when it opened today
we are so cool
Today efforts were made on my behalf, but meh
I went over to Robbys and we/he went skimming
some guys had grind rails set up at the shore
it was good fun to watch people bust ass on that
please add going to the beach whenever I want to the short list of things I'm gonna miss when I move to new york
so I still need to get crackin on that homework I assigned the entire day today to
I also need to call hollywood video at some point
bummed about the bucs loss
later days

Current mood: accomplished

(2 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

9:48AM

Hannah is asleep on my floor
this weekend has been awkward
fun at times, not so much at others
awkward just really sums everything up
on my plate for today is home work, but knowing me I'll leave that til late tonight anyhow
later days

Current mood: curious

(compromise yourself)

Thursday, October 30, 2003

11:11PM

for so many reasons today was great
my cell was/is(not sure) broken
It was liberating
I missed 11 voicemails
made me feel loved
I had to get blood drawn, less than great, but tolerable
reconciliation with jamie made me feel like an entirely different person, and it feels superb
gym with hannah tonight was good, its been too long
this weekend is lookin up, so is next weekend, and well every weekend from now til december
wow
good night moon
p.s. come trick or treating at the mall tomorrow night

Current mood: super

(2 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

4:27PM - I'm on a posting spree, but you still love me?

Man, I just keep setting myself up in these situations knowing the hurt that's going to come right after.
I never bother myself with the consequences of my actions, just do things for immeadiate benefit, screw the emotional results.
I must be a masochist.
I'd like to, just once, prove to myself that I can sustain a normal relationship, I fail.
I had the longest/most peculiar conversations with the most unexpected people today.
fucked up

Current mood: madatmyself

(3 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

6:26AM

I went to bed at 7 last night
My phone rang three times, a few were pretty important
and I slept straight through it
now I feel like shit even more and none of my work is done
oh well, I'm not going to school today

Current mood: sleepy

(compromise yourself)

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

6:06PM

Scratch that last entry, for the most part
the reason for my rage has been partially remedied
also scratch the whole new job thing
gah, they'll prolly talk me out of leaving for college too

Current mood: emotional

(1 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

1:10PM

I'm fucking tired of going out on a limb for people who don't give a fuck
I'm not doing anything nice or friendly ever again
Being a hermit would be so much easier than this pointless attempt at securing friendships for abosultely no fucking reason. I'm moving away in ten months anyway, what's the point to sarasota life anyhow. Scratch that, I can move away after graduation in May and do summer session
I quit
Why am I even home now, I have to be to work in an hour, gah

Current mood: disappointed

(5 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

Monday, October 27, 2003

6:54PM - Alternative to feeling like yourself

-I was stuck at school all day much to my dismay
+Hung out with Robby after school
+Hung out with Ali-Jae after school and last night
-had to go to "the doctor"
+Hung out with Ryan
+he burned me a treephort cd
+got hired at Hollywood videos, more money and 3 movie rentals a day!
-I have to put in my 2 weeks at Edys
+got paid
+organized my cd's
to do:
enviro lab
bio lab
clean room!
Later Days

Current mood: do do do do

(2 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

Sunday, October 26, 2003

3:20PM

This weekend was ok
I ended up at home pretty early every night, I'm just exhausted
Hannah and I went to the Pine View dance, we went as "hot" but left pretty early, cuz well, it's a pv dance
Texas Chainsaw remake was great, I actually screamed several times
I got a chance to see my venice boys
Saw the original texas chainsaw shortly after seeing the original
So I babysat all day today even tho it was only sposed to be from 7-1, I still have it
I have a job interview soon, I hope that goes well I need to be making more money
later days

Current mood: anxious

(2 gone no better place | compromise yourself)

Thursday, October 23, 2003

10:30PM

I have to dress up on halloween and give out candy to small children at work, what should I wear?
tomorrow night is gonna be hot
today made me want to quit my job
I don't want to go to school tomorrow
Farewell moon

Current mood: ack

(compromise yourself)

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